Chronicles of (a) Hernia
July 30th, 20081997 – A young and unsuspecting girl begins experiencing a lot of abdominal pain
1998 – Girl has her gallbladder removed days before meeting her future husband and feels much better
2004 – Same girl has an emergency c-section – for some reason doctors are more concerned with baby’s health than being careful and gentle with girl’s stomach
2005 – Girl has surgery to remove a tumor that made its presence known, and decided to go ahead and have a dead ovary removed for good measure
2007 – Ah, another c-section in which the doctor said, “Oh, we’ll have to make the incision bigger to get this big baby out” – lovely
Somewhere between 2005 and 2007 – Girl’s body decides an umbilical hernia would be the next logical step
July 2008 – Since girl’s stomach hasn’t seen enough of an operating room, doctor decides to go in and repair aforementioned hernia to prevent any future emergency situations
Present – August 14 – Girl is under strict instructions not to lift her 2 children (or anything else over 15 pounds) because the fear of God has been instilled in her by her husband and mother…not to mention the surgeon
There you have it – that’s what I’ve been up to. If anyone out there has a hankering to come and make a 17 month old feel loved by carrying her around and putting her down for a nap, you know where to come!